When I first started down this path of recovery I thought that I was going to be able to do all of this myself. I have referenced this in one of my earlier posts. I called this the “Richie Rich Program of Recovery.” I thought that it was a great idea and I felt that I was going to have enough knowledge to get me through to the other side of my 28 days at the Beacon House.
After I left the house and went back to my old lifestyle… of course, I relapsed and the whole ball got rolling again. This time when I came back to the Beacon House I was willing to do anything to get what I saw so many others around me had. I wanted what these people had. Before this, I thought that what other people had was a great thing for them. I liked how it made them look. Moreover, it was attractive to me, but it was theirs. I knew what I wanted and I knew what I needed.
I can’t help but laugh to myself when I think about this time in my life. Alcohol is a cunning and baffling foe indeed. Alcohol makes you think that you have all of the answers and it had a tendency to make me act like an ass.
I finally got a sponsor when I came back into the house. One of the first things that this man asked me was if I had found out about Step Zero. What the heck is Step Zero? He then told me that I was to go into the Big Book and look for Step Zero. This was my very first homework assignment that he had me do.
The funny thing was that I had read and heard Step Zero many times during meetings. It’s part of the reading of Chapter 3 – “More About Alcoholics.”
“We learned that we had to FULLY CONCEDE to our innermost selves that we were alcoholics. This is the first step in recovery. The delusion that we are like other people, or presently may be, HAS TO BE ashed.”
It said it in plain English, right in front of me. I don’t know how many times I had looked at those words and glanced right over them. There they were, this is the first step in recovery.
I, like many other people, had the delusion that I was not an alcoholic and that I could handle things on my own.
There are a couple of different pamphlets and tests that you can take to see if you might be an alcoholic. It is my opinion that only you can call yourself an alcoholic.
I took both of these tests and recorded amazing scores on both. In fact, I am defiantly an alcoholic. I know that now. It is one of the things that I know to be 100% true for me. I will never not be an alcoholic and I will always remember that. When I finally accepted this fact I was truly ready to begin on my road to recovery.
About Beacon House
Learn more about Step Zero and overcome alcohol addiction with Beacon House. Overall, we offer a wide range of therapies to ensure you find success in treatment. These therapies include:
- Individual therapy
- Group therapy and 12 step meetings
- Cognitive behavioral therapy
- Dialectical behavior therapy